So I was at a thrift store and I see this little cat lamp.
I was like “Aye yo, ya’ll are fuckin’ adorable.”
So I bought the lil’ guy and took him home to plug him in.
Then I was like “No.”
well no wonder why it was in the thrift store
but shit it was 99 cents
"Ah, Perry the platypus!"
"What an unexpected -"
"WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!"
"By societal convention!"
"Look! We’re in a fine dining environment. Everyone knows not to throw a scene in a fancy restaurant!”
"That’s right. You’re trapped. Sit down."
the writers for this show deserve more credit man
does your brain ever just produce disturbingly violent thoughts out of nowhere
like terrible, horrible, thoughts
for no reason at all
and then you snap out of it and you’re like
i don’t want to kill my mom
what the fuck
they’re called intrusive thoughts and apparently are very common
I really worry about which selfie my family would put on the news if I ever went missing.
"your made-up pronouns aren’t real words"
ah yes, as an english major i can confirm that no one has ever made up words to compensate for gaps in the language
all words occur naturally in caves located deep in the Amazon rainforest, where they are carefully handpicked by linguists and preserved in dictionaries